I wanted the first entry to this site to be a personal story about one of my tattoos.  I decided to choose the heart on the inside of my left bicep.

I think that first real love of your life blinds you in a way so that you don’t always notice the things that might be wrong.  It was February of 2006, a week before my 25^th birthday, and I was in love.  I had been with her for almost two years.  Up until that point, my dating history looked a lot like the resume of a 16 year old trying to get their first job, virtually empty.  This girl changed my life and opened up so many wonderful doors for me.  I was so in love with her that I was even starting to investigate what it would take for me to get an engagement ring.  I also had two possible proposal ideas in mind.  It was this love, however, that kept me from seeing the warning signs of the impending doom of our relationship.

Things weren’t perfect but they were ok.  Without any dating experience under my belt, I just assumed all couples went through a dip and that’s where we were.  At least, I thought that until the night that she pulled the plug on us.  When I really sat down and thought about it, her decision shouldn’t have come as much of a shock, but that doesn’t mean it was easy to deal with.  I was a broken man.  Everything I knew about love was destroyed in an instant.  There are so many things I felt that are impossible to put into words.  It sounds like a cliché but I felt like a piece of my heart had been stolen away.  I wasn’t whole anymore.   Not only did I lose the love of my life, but I also lost my family and friends.  Her family had become my family.  Her friends became my friends.  All of these things disappeared in the blink of an eye and I was sent spiraling into a pretty dark hole.

Eventually I dug myself out and started to move on with my life.  It took me much longer than I’d like to admit but it did finally happen.  I hit the re-set button on my life and moved to a different state to get a fresh start.  I don’t think you ever forget that first real heartbreak, but no matter how much pain it may have caused, it helps you grow.  Mine certainly did.  I don’t want to remember the pain but I did want something to symbolize the fact that I had crawled out of one of the darkest moments of my life. That’s when the idea for the tattoo popped into my head.  My heart was broken into a million pieces but I had fought back and almost put it back together.  I looked at it like a big puzzle.  Unfortunately, one piece was still missing, and it would continue to be missing until I found the woman that had it.  I thought a heart designed like a puzzle with one piece missing would be a perfect representation.  As far as it’s placement on my body, my friends had always told me I wore my heart on my sleeve.  Therefore, it seemed to me that the most logical place to put it was on my arm.  I decided to get it done in June of 2008 when I was in Newport Beach, California for a friend’s wedding.  I got the work done at Newport Tattoo.  I can’t remember the artist’s name but she was great, and she came up with the idea to have different shades of red in the heart to make each piece stand out a little more.

My heart is still a work in progress.  I haven’t quite found the missing piece yet.  A lot of people assume that I will fill in the empty space when my search ends, however, that’s not where my mind is.  I would really like her to get the piece tattooed on her.  She’s the missing piece of my heart.  What better way to represent that than to get my missing piece tattooed on her.  Now, a tattoo is a permanent and serious decision so I would never force someone to get one.  I’d like to think that when I find the person I want to spend the rest of my life with that she’ll be just as into it and will be more than happy to make me whole again.